


A Healing Hand

by silkencrow



Series: One Step at a Time [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Caring Dean Winchester, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Healing, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), M/M, Pre-Relationship, Short One Shot, cas is a sad boy but he's got dean, they aren't together yet but we know they want to be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:02:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26554045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silkencrow/pseuds/silkencrow
Summary: Castiel is dealing with being human and Dean is learning how to help, one step at a time.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: One Step at a Time [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1931116
Comments: 2
Kudos: 72





	A Healing Hand

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Destiel shippers! This is just a short one shot of Dean comforting Cas. Literally that's it. I'm contemplating adding more one shots along the same line, so any suggestions or comments are welcome. Hope you like it!  
> Allons-y!

Castiel was tired. He never used to get tired, and the new bags under his eyes were constant reminders of what he did. Every new ache and every new pain - all of it. Castiel wanted to wallow in his now rather human existence, but doing so felt like a betrayal to all his brethren. He had it good, really he did. He had Sam and Dean. Two people who were willing to help him adapt. His brothers and sisters had no one, and most of them were even more unfamiliar with Earth than he was. 

Really. He should feel fortunate, lucky even.

Most days though, all he could bring himself to feel was tired. 

“Mornin, Cas.”

The deep, rough baritone of Dean’s voice registers a few seconds late, and Castiel blinks the world back into focus as quickly as he can manage. Dean’s green eyes greet him. His worried, uncharacteristically gentle gaze makes Castiel’s heart clench just a little. He suddenly finds the previously forgotten book sitting open in his lap interesting again. 

Dean always worries about him nowadays. Sam too, but that’s Sam. Always making sure everyone is okay.

Dean’s worry feels different. Sharper, somehow. More intense.

“Good morning, Dean. You are up two hours earlier than usual. Are you feeling okay?”

Dean raises his eyebrows but says nothing in lieu of an answer. Castiel quickly scans over Dean’s body before he disappears down the hall, presumably to make coffee. From the outside, based on what little Castiel has learned over the years about human illness, Dean looks perfectly healthy. Sleep deprived, it seems, but healthy.

“Yeah well, you’re one to talk!” Dean shouts from the kitchen, “Aren’t you supposed to sleep now that your mojo is gone?” 

Ah. Sleep. Castiel is aware that sleep is necessary for humans, but he is still adjusting to the...unnatural feeling of sleeping. Well, unnatural for someone who used to be an angel.

“Coffee,” Dean sighs happily as he shuffles back into the common area, sinking heavily down onto the couch next to Castiel. Dean’s voice is still sleep-rough, and his posture radiates calm. He always looks best in the mornings, without the worries of the day burdening him yet. Castiel feels an odd, overwhelming urge to touch him. Even just a pat on the shoulder. The urge is so strong that his hands twitch. Castiel belatedly remembers that Dean asked him a question.

“I scheduled a time for Thursday this week at 7pm…” He answers distractedly, staring in worry at his hands. They itch, and he is solemnly reminded of his wings. They often twitch or tingle in response to things, even when he keeps his vessel still. Well, they  _ used  _ to.

He no longer feels their reassuring weight across his back, and this is no longer a vessel. His vessel... _ he _ ...will age and whither. He will never take flight again. 

He will likely never see his brothers and sisters again. And even if he did, they would likely smite him on the spot.

“Cas, sleeping isn’t supposed to be scheduled,” Dean laughs, breaking him out of his dark thoughts, “And when the hell was the last time you slept?”

Castiel stares guiltily down at his hands. “I...I know humans are supposed to sleep every night...I just - I just get worried sometimes that I won’t wake up…”

Castiel can practically feel the heat from Dean’s gaze, but he’s too scared to raise his head. He gets the feeling he’s mis-stepped somehow. 

“I’m sorry, I know that sounds ridiculous. I understand how sleep works, I’ve just never been unconscious other than for healing but healing sleep is not quite - ”

“Cas,” Dean gruffly interrupts his nervous rant, clapping him on the shoulder in what Castiel has identified as Winchester comfort. Despite himself, Castiel lets out a breath and his shoulders loosen. 

“It’s not stupid, it’s just something you’re working through. That’s okay, and it probably won’t be the last thing. New territory, everything’s changed. It’s understandable, man.”

A silence falls over the duo and Dean takes his hand away. Castiel immediately misses the warmth, the physical reassurance. He did not want to change. He did not want to continue losing pieces of himself. He felt so helpless, lost in a world that would never truly be his own. His power,  _ his grace _ , was the foundation of his creation. As angels go, one is nothing without their grace,  _ without their wings _ .

The pain of it all makes a physical ache settle deep in Castiel’s chest and a stinging sensation burn at the corners of his eyes.

“So, today - ” Dean’s voice breaks off, and Castiel raises his head. Dean has a broken look on his face, one so full of despair that Castiel worries he’s missed something. He tenses all over again, not much caring to see those emotions on Dean’s face. Even as an angel, Dean’s pain always made his grace twinge uncomfortably. 

“Dean? What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“Cas,” the raspy whisper makes Castiel shiver slightly, “Why are you crying?”

_ Crying?  _ Castiel’s hand jumps to his cheeks. Yes, there were tears. Despair washes over him anew.

“Ah,” Castiel whispered, voice breaking slightly, “Yes, another new thing to get used to. I’m sorry, Dean. It usually stops after a few minutes…”

Castiel trails off when Dean’s strong arms suddenly engulf him. His own arms mirroring the action after a second of delay. It’s warm, and a little awkward because of how they’re sat side-by-side, but Castiel decides he quite enjoys the feeling of Dean’s arms around him nonetheless.

To Castiel’s complete annoyance, the unexpected hug seems to make the tears flow faster. 

“Cas, listen to me,” Dean squeezes Castiel harder for emphasis, “It’s going to be okay. I know,  _ I know _ , that sounds like a load of crap. But I promise you, Sam and I will be here for you. It’ll be tough, being human sucks, but you won’t be alone.”

_ You won’t be alone _

Castiel wanted so greatly to believe that. He wanted to believe that the Winchesters would never leave him. That Dean wouldn’t. 

But he made so many mistakes as an angel. He shudders to think of how many more he might make as a human. 

“Cas,” Dean pulls back from the embrace, and Castiel instantly feels cold without Dean’s warmth. 

“Cas, man, look at me.”

Castiel does. He looks, and it shouldn’t be so easy. He looks right into those beautiful eyes and can’t help but get lost, as he’s done so many times before. 

“Sam and I, we care about you. We won’t leave you high and dry, no matter what you decide to do with your life now. If you want to stay and hunt, that’s great. If you want to stay and not hunt, that’s great too. I mean,” he takes a breath and looks resigned, “If you want to leave the bunker and see what’s out there on your own, we’ll support you in that too.”

“No.” Castiel grabs Dean’s hand without thinking, fear and pain constricting his throat. “No, I-I don’t want to leave, please, if you’ll have me, I’d like to stay with you and Sam.”

Dean suppresses a smile, but his eyes brighten considerably. 

“No problem. We’ll work it out together, just like always.”

Castiel smiles and squeezes Dean’s hand before reluctantly letting go. Even just the touch of Dean’s hand was able to warm Castiel a small amount. Cold and tired once again, he shivers while suppressing a yawn. 

“It is pretty cold in here, you know that you can turn up the heat whenever you want right?”

Castiel narrows his eyes at Dean and pouts. 

“Dean, I can no longer heat myself to desired temperatures. You know humans can’t do that.”

“No, I meant-” Dean lets out a bellowing laugh and shakes his head, “I meant the heater that heats the bunker, dummy. Come on, I’ll show you.” He gives Castiel a smile and stands, holding his hand out. Castiel takes a few seconds to look into those green eyes again, wondering about the beauty of humanity and how he missed it for so long. 

Or maybe how humanity never really shone brightly enough to notice until this man’s birth.

Castiel takes his hand, allowing himself to be pulled along in the other man’s wake.

Dean doesn’t let go.


End file.
